Welcome, coaches

Anxiety guide

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What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, unease, or nervousness — typically about an event with an uncertain outcome. It’s a reaction to something that feels like a threat.

Imagine this…

It’s a cool evening before a match. You notice Jordan, usually your most assertive midfielder, keeps wringing their hands. Their breathing is uneven, their eyes dart around, and their usual pregame rituals seem frantic.

During the game, they shy away from the ball and second-guess their every move. When they have a clear shot to score, they freeze.

That state of heightened alertness, the overthinking, the second-guessing, the physical symptoms?

That’s anxiety.

By recognizing its signs and offering support, coaches can help players navigate their anxieties, ensuring they play their best game both on and off the field.

Why do people have anxiety?

Anxiety is a natural emotion. Everyone has it from time to time. It’s like our body’s alarm system, alerting us to possible dangers or challenges. That’s why it makes us want to fight, flee, or sometimes just freeze.

In prehistoric times, this “fight or flight” response helped humans react quickly to threats like predators. Today, our “predators” might be things like taking a big test, speaking in front of a crowd, or taking a penalty shot in soccer.

What are symptoms of anxiety?

• Feeling restless or cranky
• Rapid heart rate
• Rapid breathing
• Sweating
• Dizziness
• Trembling hands
• Getting tired easily
• Getting angry or frustrated easily
• Trouble focusing
• Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
• Stomach issues
• Withdrawing from favorite people and activities

How can anxiety affect players on the field?

• Overthinking
• Focusing on past mistakes or future plays
• Second-guessing their abilities
• Hesitating
• Making mistakes
• Overreacting or being overly emotional
• Being easily angered or frustrated
• Physical symptoms that affect game skills
• Trouble focusing on the game

Anxiety doesn’t just affect one player. It can ripple through the team. Addressing it head-on can help everyone succeed.

How can anxiety affect players off the field?

• Trouble controlling worrying thoughts
• Avoiding new things
• Struggling in school
• Feeling lonely
• Withdrawing from favorite people and activities

How can I help players with anxiety?

• Provide a predictable practice or game routine. Give plenty of notice if it needs to change.
• Find a balance between giving too much support versus having players “push through.” Both extremes can increase anxiety in players.
• Adapt to each player. Some may benefit from distraction and others may want to talk.
• Adapt practice as needed, such as letting them leave early to avoid crowds.
• Offer more breaks or lighter duties in practice and games.
• Create a supportive culture for your team.
• Share HeadFirst resources like Overcoming anxiety: A guide for players.
• Share coping skills at practice.
• Use the resources in your community, like a school counselor, social worker, psychologist, or local mental health agency.

If you notice a player’s anxiety is affecting their well-being or performance, discuss it with their parents or guardians. Gently suggest they seek guidance from a mental health professional.

What if someone is in crisis?

If you think someone may hurt themselves or someone else, get help right away. These resources are free and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

 

Grief guide

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What is grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss and can have a big impact on emotional well-being.

Imagine this…

It’s a perfect day for a game of soccer. But as the practice starts, you can’t help but notice that one of your players, Alex, seems out of sorts.

Usually full of spirit, Alex is moving slower, almost like they’re playing in a fog. Where they would usually offer banter, there’s a sigh, a distant gaze, and a heavy heart. You’ve heard that Alex’s grandma passed away last week — and she was a constant supporter at their games.

That shift in energy, the weight in every step, the foggy disconnect from the game? Those are some effects common with grief.

Navigating grief is challenging, especially for young people. By standing by your grieving player, you underscore the importance of compassion, empathy, and community in team sports and in life.

What are symptoms of grief?

• Exhaustion
• Feeling tired or sick
• Headaches and other pain
• Dry mouth
• Lack of sleep
• Changes in appetite
• Overthinking
• Brain fog
• Disbelief
• Feeling disconnected
• Feeling anger, anxiety, guilt, or relief
• Poor memory
• Disorganized thoughts
• Withdrawing from people
• Crying
• Avoiding reminders of the deceased
• Becoming dependent on others

How can grief affect players on and off the field?

• Changes in performance
• Being less focused on the field
• Being more easily frustrated
• Unexpected bouts of sadness or anger
• Being more quiet than usual
• Not interacting with teammates

How can I help players who are grieving?

• Approach the player gently and let them know you’re there for support.
• Offer breaks or lighter duties as needed during practice or games.
• Encourage a culture of understanding and support among teammates.
• Educate yourself on the stages of grief and how it may look in teens.
• Share the situation with other coaches so they can offer added support.
• Make sure that the player has time to attend memorials and process their grief.
• Share HeadFirst resources like Grief: A guide for players.
• Know that everyone grieves differently. Offer space when needed — and support when asked.

If you are concerned about the player, discuss it with their parents or guardians. Gently suggest they seek guidance from a mental health professional.

What if someone is in crisis?

If you think someone may hurt themselves or someone else, get help right away. These resources are free and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

Social media guide

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What is social media?

Social media refers to websites and apps that let users create and share content or network with each other. Popular platforms include Instagram, X, Facebook, TikTok, and Snapchat.

Imagine this…

After a brilliant match, you spot your team scrolling endlessly on their phones. Their expressions range from joy to dismay within a few minutes. Later, you overhear players commenting on their viral TikTok or an Instagram post that showcased a teammate’s mistake.

That mix of excitement, sadness, and cyberbullying?

That’s the world of social media.

By setting boundaries and encouraging open conversations, you can help your athletes avoid the pitfalls of social media while enjoying its benefits.

What issues can social media usage lead to?

• Feeling stressed
• Developing low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety
• Having trouble focusing and being easily distracted
• Not wanting to engage in social activities
• Aggression
• Feeling hopeless and suicidal
• Being exposed to content that’s not right for their age
• Connecting with unsafe people
• Identity theft
• Bullying or being bullied

How can social media usage affect players on the field?

• They may feel pressure to deliver top-tier performances to gain positive attention.
• Mental fatigue from constant social media use can affect their focus on the field.
• Constant scrolling can distract from training and development.
• The highs of praise and lows of criticism can result in emotional swings.

How can social media impact players off the field?

• Social media may make them feel like their life (or soccer skills) don’t measure up.
• While immediate praise can boost confidence, instant criticism can be a blow.
• Spending a lot of time on social media can distract from school and in-person friendships.

Remember, mean memes, comments, and edits are forms of bullying. Read the Bullying section to learn how to spot and prevent bullying.

How can I help my team use social media in a healthy way?

• Talk with them about your concerns.
• Have them put away phones during practice and games.
• Remind them of their worth beyond likes, comments, and followers.
• Talk about kindness, privacy, and the fact that internet posts last forever.
• Follow the social media policy for your soccer club.
• Set expectations around what they should and should not post about the team.
• Let players know what types of behavior they should tell you about right away.
• Be a good role model in what you post and how much you’re online.

If you notice that social media is seriously affecting a player’s emotional well-being, self-esteem, or real-world relationships, consider discussing it with their parents or guardians.

What if someone is in crisis?

If you think someone may hurt themselves or someone else, get help right away. These resources are free and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

Bullying guide

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What is bullying?

Bullying is a repeated action that’s meant to harm another person or group. It can be physical, mental, or emotional.

Imagine this...

You know the vibes of a regular soccer training day: Everyone’s pumped, laced up, and ready for some action. But Chris, who’s usually the first one doing drills and taking shots, is hanging back. Every time they try joining a group, there’s weird laughter or the chat goes silent.

During a scrimmage, Chris hesitates. They’re not passing and their skills are suffering. Whenever Chris makes a small mistake, a few players roll their eyes. The whole “We got your back” team vibe? It feels off around Chris.

Those hushed whispers, weird silences, and excluding behaviors?

That’s bullying.

By recognizing signs of bullying — and addressing them head-on — you help every player feel valued, supported, and confident in their place within the team.

How do I know if it’s bullying?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Does the victim have less power? A bully uses their strength, size, age, skill, or other factors to harm those with less power.
• Was it on purpose? The bully wants to hurt the victim — it’s not an accident.
• Did it (or could it) happen more than once? Bullying generally isn’t a one-time thing.

What are signs that someone is being bullied?

• They no longer have interest in playing the sport.
• They complain of unexplained aches or pains.
• They have little interest in being social with their teammates.
• There are unusual changes in their behavior.

What does bullying look like on the field?

• Ganging up on a teammate
• Harassing a teammate because of a mistake
• Hazing or forcing players to prove they “belong”
• Threatening teammates about doing well on the field
• Targeting teammates who don’t do as well

What does bullying look like off the field?

• Making mean jokes or comments
• Mocking or humiliating someone
• Shoving, hitting, or kicking
• Making sexual comments or spreading rumors
• Talking about a friend or teammate behind their back
• Leaving someone out of conversations, events, chats, etc.
• Using social media or tech to bully someone

Why do teens bully?

• Jealousy
• Desire to have control over others
• Low self-esteem (not feeling good about themselves)
• Trouble coping with emotions, including anger
• Impulsivity
• Trying to get attention or be liked by others

How can I counteract bullying?

• Have a no-bullying policy and make it clear from the start.
• Clearly state the consequences of bullying.
• Outline the behavior you expect. Discuss how assertive behavior is different from bullying.
• Encourage players to come to you with concerns.
• When players do come to you, listen and take action.
• Encourage players to be an “upstander” by not giving bullies an audience and by stepping in when they feel safe to do so.
• Share the players’ guide: Bullying: A guide for players.

How can I tell if a coaching approach may be harmful?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Is it creating more of a power imbalance?
• Is it using unwanted, aggressive behavior?
• Is it setting unrealistic goals for the players?
• Does it come across as threatening?

How can I create a safe space on the field?

• Give feedback in private, especially if it’s corrective.
• Learn how each player prefers to receive praise. Not everyone likes public recognition.
• Be stern and direct, but constructive.
• Be clear about expectations and about strategies to achieve those expectations.
• Allow open communication between you and your athletes.
• Validate their feelings and use active listening.

What if someone is in crisis?

If you think someone may hurt themselves or someone else, get help right away. These resources are free and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

Depression guide

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What is depression?

Depression is more than just feeling down or having an “off” day. It’s a mental health condition that can deeply affect how a person feels, thinks, and acts. It’s a feeling of sadness that won’t go away. And it can make a person lose interest in things they once loved, including soccer.

Imagine this…

The team is practicing for an important match. Everything seems routine: drills, tactical plays, short breaks. One of your players, Jamie, is usually a powerhouse on the field, but they seem different this week.

They’re the last to start every drill and the first to finish, not due to speed but a lack of enthusiasm. They’re missing easy passes, not engaging with teammates, and their fiery spirit seems dimmed. During water breaks, they sit alone, staring into the distance.

That ongoing withdrawal from the team, the drop in energy, the lack of enthusiasm? These could be signs of depression.

Your role involves fostering a space where players feel seen and valued. By understanding and addressing depression, you’re ensuring that every player feels supported, both on the pitch and beyond.

What are symptoms of depression?

• Sadness that won’t go away
• Hopelessness
• Irritability or annoyed mood
• Conflict with others
• Low self-esteem
• Focusing a lot on past failures
• Trouble concentrating
• Thoughts of death or dying
• Having a suicide plan or attempt
• Sleeping too much or not enough
• Poor self-care (hygiene)
• Angry outbursts
• Risky behavior
• Changes in appetite
• Increased use of alcohol or drugs

How can depression affect players on the field?

• Loss of interest in participating
• Becoming overly sensitive
• Being focused on failures
• Having conflict with others
• Showing extreme frustration or irritability
• Not socializing with teammates
• Changes in performance

How can depression affect players off the field?

• Loss of interest in favorite things
• Lasting feelings of sadness or hopelessness
• A drop in energy and/or motivation
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Changes in performance in school or at work

Why do teens have depression?

Depression is a mental health issue that causes an intense or constant feeling of sadness or loss of interest in activities. Common stressors for teens that can cause depression include:

• School stress
• Peer pressure
• Relationship problems
• Parents separating or divorcing
• Money problems
• Physical neglect (lack of food, shelter, safety, etc.)
• Emotional neglect (lack of caring, love, support, etc.)

How can I help players with depression?

• Let them know you’ve noticed a change and are there to help.
• Offer more breaks or lighter duties in practice and games.
• Create a supportive culture for your team.
• Encourage healthy eating and sleep, which can support mental health.
• Have team-building activities that don’t involve soccer.
• Balance corrective feedback with positive support.
• Share HeadFirst resources like Overcoming depression: A guide for players.
• Use the resources in your community, like a school counselor, social worker, psychologist, or local mental health agency.

If you suspect a player is severely affected by depression or they mention feelings of hopelessness or self-harm, it’s essential to discuss the situation with their guardians and suggest professional mental health intervention.

What if someone is in crisis?

If you think someone may hurt themselves or someone else, get help right away. These resources are free and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.