Welcome, Athletes

Bullying guide

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What is bullying?

Bullying is a repeated action that’s meant to harm another person or group. It can be physical, mental, or emotional.

Imagine this...

You know the vibes of a regular soccer training day: Everyone’s pumped, laced up, and ready for some action. But Dylan, who’s usually the first one doing drills and taking shots, is hanging back. Every time Dylan tries joining a group, there’s weird laughter or the chat goes silent.

Whenever Dylan makes a small mistake, a few players roll their eyes or make those “joking-not-really-joking” comments. The whole “We got your back” team vibe? It feels off around Dylan.

Those weird silences and not-so-funny jokes?

That’s bullying.

Bullying doesn’t belong on or off the field. Use these tips to defend yourself and help others who might be experiencing the same. Together, we can make soccer — and life — a better game for everyone!

How do I know if it’s bullying?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Does the victim have less power? A bully uses their strength, size, age, skill, or other factors to harm those with less power.
• Was it on purpose? The bully wants to hurt the victim — it’s not an accident.
• Did it (or could it) happen more than once? Bullying generally isn’t a one-time thing.

What does bullying look like on the field?

• Ganging up on a teammate
• Harassing a teammate because of a mistake
• Hazing or forcing players to prove they “belong”
• Threatening teammates about doing well on the field
• Targeting teammates who don’t do as well

What does bullying look like off the field?

• Making mean jokes or comments
• Mocking or humiliating someone
• Shoving, hitting, or kicking
• Making sexual comments or spreading rumors
• Talking about a friend or teammate behind their back
• Leaving someone out of conversations, events, chats, etc.
• Using social media or tech to bully someone

Why do teens bully?

• Jealousy
• Desire to have control over others
• Low self-esteem (not feeling good about themselves)
• Trouble coping with emotions, including anger
• Impulsivity
• Trying to get attention or be liked by others

What can I do about bullying?

• Don’t fight back or try to hurt the bully. It may be tempting, but don’t let them change who you are.
• Let your coach, parents, or a trusted adult know. They can find help on the Parents and Coaches pages of this website.
• Block and report online bullies.
• Share your HeadFirst bag tag. Let other players scan your QR code to find help.
• Download Bullying: A guide for players to read and refer to.

What if I might be a bully?

• Talk to an adult or role model to get coping skills and tips.
• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Empathize with others’ feelings and failings, and ask yourself how you’d want to be treated.
• Know you can change — even if it takes practice.
• Build coping skills and mental fitness with the HeadFirst program.
• Ask your parents to help you get help from a therapist or counselor.

What if someone is in crisis?

If someone you know (including you) may hurt themselves or someone else, don’t wait. Get help right away — even if you’re not sure it’s needed. These resources are free, confidential, and available even if you just need to vent.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

 

Grief guide

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What is grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss and can have a big impact your emotional well-being.

Imagine this…

After a tough week where you faced a personal loss, you’re back on the field, trying to keep your spirits up. You post a picture after a heartfelt match to remember that amidst grief, there’s still life.

Your friends and teammates rally behind you, offering support, comfort, and positive words. But there’s always that one comment or moment or photo or memory that reminds you of the pain.

Those ups and downs, your emotions rising then falling again, taking you by surprise? That’s the rollercoaster of grief.

Remember, grief is a personal journey. Whether on the pitch or off, let’s approach each other with understanding, patience, and love.

What are symptoms of grief?

• Exhaustion
• Feeling tired or sick
• Headaches and other pain
• Dry mouth
• Lack of sleep
• Changes in appetite
• Overthinking
• Brain fog
• Disbelief
• Feeling disconnected
• Feeling anger, anxiety, guilt, or relief
• Poor memory
• Disorganized thoughts
• Withdrawing from people
• Crying
• Avoiding reminders of the deceased
• Becoming dependent on others

How might others respond to my grief?

• Giving unwanted advice on how to grieve
• Making a memorial post, which can be heartwarming but also upsetting at times
• Trying to minimize your grief or saying things that are unhelpful
• Sending helpful messages, sharing stories, and offering support

Remember, when people say or do the wrong thing, it’s often not meant to hurt you.

How can I navigate grief?

• Share what you want to — whether it’s memories, grief, or hope.
• Seek support or quiet when you need it.
• Take a break from things that make your grief worse.
• Find groups or forums dedicated to grief and healing for teens.
• Talk to a friend, family member, or trusted adult.
• Talk to a doctor or mental health professional for help working through your feelings.
• Be careful on social media. It can be a good place to share memories, but it can distract you and keep you from processing your grief.
• Know that everyone grieves differently. Don’t compare yourself to others.
• When you’re ready, thank the teammates, friends, and family who are standing by you.

What if a friend is grieving?

• Celebrate and share memories, but be respectful.
• Be sensitive to how they react.
• Ask for a specific way you can help.
• Ask what not to do.
• Offer space when needed — and support when asked.
• Just listen without giving advice.
• Don’t spread rumors or share private information about their grief.
• Know that everyone grieves differently. Don’t compare them to others.

What if someone is in crisis?

If someone you know (including you) may hurt themselves or someone else, don’t wait. Get help right away — even if you’re not sure it’s needed. These resources are free, confidential, and available even if you just need to vent.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

Depression guide

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What is depression?

Depression is more than just feeling down or having an “off” day. It’s a mental health condition that can deeply affect how a person feels, thinks, or acts. It’s a feeling of sadness that won’t go away. And it can make a person lose interest in things they once loved, including soccer.

Imagine this…

Your teammate Alex, who’s always excited and ready to play, is...different. Instead of joining the midfield hustle, they’re more distant. In the locker room, they’re super quiet. Sometimes they look like they’re lost in thought.

In matches, Alex isn’t playing with their usual flair. It’s not a skill thing; it feels deeper. Instead of charging forward with confidence, they are hanging back. Hesitating.

The quietness, the shift in energy, the withdrawal from things they once loved? These could be signs of depression.

Depression isn’t a sign of weakness or a lack of skill. It’s a challenge some face, and with understanding and support, they can find their way back to joy.

Why do teens have depression?

Depression is a mental health issue that causes an intense or constant feeling of sadness or loss of interest in activities. Common stressors for teens that can cause depression include:

• School stress
• Peer pressure
• Relationship problems
• Parents separating or divorcing
• Money problems
• Physical neglect (lack of food, shelter, safety, etc.)
• Emotional neglect (lack of caring, love, support, etc.)

How do I know if I have depression?

If you are having four or more of these symptoms for at least two weeks, talk to your family or doctor.

• Feelings of sadness, anxiety, irritability, fear, hopelessness, or that things will never get better
• Changes in appetite, sleep, memory, and focus, or increased use of alcohol or drugs
• Loss of interest or lack of motivation that results in slipping grades, skipping class, and withdrawing from friends
• Thoughts or comments threatening death, dying, or suicide*

*Get help right away if you are thinking about hurting or killing yourself. Call or text 988 now. Don’t wait.

What are symptoms of depression?

• Sadness that won’t go away
• Hopelessness
• Irritability or annoyed mood
• Conflict with others
• Low self-esteem
• Focusing a lot on past failures
• Trouble concentrating
• Thoughts of death or dying
• Having a suicide plan or attempt
• Sleeping too much or not enough
• Poor self-care (hygiene)
• Angry outbursts
• Risky behavior
• Changes in appetite
• Increased use of alcohol or drugs

How can depression affect me on and off the field?

• Loss of interest in favorite things
• Lasting feelings of sadness or hopelessness
• Feeling drained all the time, even after plenty of rest
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Changes in performance in school, in soccer, and at work

What can I do about depression?

• Get outside and walk around so you can get out of your head.
• Talk with a trusted friend, family member, coach, or counselor.
• Eat healthy foods and drink enough water.
• Get enough sleep each night — without your phone in your room.
• Journal about your thoughts to help you set them aside.
• Choose a small goal and take one step to reach it.
• Do things that make you feel happy and positive.
• Reach out to friends and teammates. This can help you feel less alone.
• Give yourself grace. Many people have depression and learn to cope.
• Ask your parents to help you get help from a therapist or counselor.

What if a friend has depression?

• Gently suggest they talk to someone who can help, whether it’s a school counselor or a therapist.
• Listen. Sometimes just being there and listening can be powerful.
• Check in with them regularly to show them you care and they’re not alone.

What if someone is in crisis?

If someone you know (including you) may hurt themselves or someone else, don’t wait. Get help right away — even if you’re not sure it’s needed. These resources are free, confidential, and available even if you just need to vent.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

Anxiety guide

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What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, unease, or nervousness — often about an event with an uncertain outcome. It’s a reaction to something that feels like a threat.

Imagine this…

Your team is in the final minutes of a tie game. The ball rolls to your feet, and the entire field seems to open up in front of you. You have a clear shot to score the winning goal. As you prepare to take the shot, a rush of thoughts floods your mind: “What if I miss? I’ve never been in this position before. I can’t let everyone down.” Your heart races, your palms get sweaty, and suddenly, the ball feels like a ton of bricks.

That rush of overwhelming thoughts and feelings?

That’s anxiety.

Always remember, you’re not alone. Your teammates, coaches, and loved ones are there to support you. Together, you can face and overcome any challenge, on or off the pitch.

Why do people have anxiety?

Anxiety is a natural emotion. Everyone has it from time to time. It’s like our body’s alarm system, alerting us to possible dangers or challenges. That’s why it makes us want to fight, flee, or sometimes just freeze.

In prehistoric times, this “fight or flight” response helped humans react quickly to threats like predators. Today, our “predators” might be things like taking a big test, speaking in front of a crowd, or taking a penalty shot in soccer.

How do I know if I have anxiety?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I worry about a lot of things?
• Do I worry more days than not?
• Do I feel like my worrying is out of control?
• Have I noticed any physical symptoms?
• Does my worrying affect my relationships?
• Does my worrying affect me in school, at work, or on the field?

If you answered yes to four or more of these questions, you likely are feeling anxious.

What are symptoms of anxiety?

• Feeling restless or cranky
• Rapid heart rate
• Rapid breathing
• Sweating
• Dizziness
• Trembling hands
• Getting tired easily
• Getting angry or frustrated easily
• Trouble focusing
• Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
• Stomach issues
• Withdrawing from favorite people and activities

How can anxiety affect me on the field?

• Overthinking
• Focusing on past mistakes or future plays
• Second-guessing your abilities
• Hesitating
• Making mistakes
• Overreacting or being overly emotional
• Being easily angered or frustrated
• Physical symptoms that affect game skills
• Trouble focusing on the game

How can anxiety affect me off the field?

• Trouble controlling worrying thoughts
• Avoiding things that make you anxious
• Struggling in school
• Feeling like no one understands you
• Feeling lonely
• Withdrawing from people and activities you enjoyed

What can I do about anxiety?

• Take slow, deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
• Use meditation apps to help reduce some symptoms of anxiety.
• Write down what is worrying you. Think about what may have triggered those feelings, and practice talking to yourself in a positive way.
• Ground yourself. Become aware of your feet touching the ground. Drink a cold glass of water. Stay in the moment by naming things you can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste.
• Talk to a friend, family member, adult, or teacher.
• If anxiety gets in the way of your daily life, talk to your doctor.

What if someone is in crisis?

If someone you know (including you) may hurt themselves or someone else, don’t wait. Get help right away — even if you’re not sure it’s needed. These resources are free, confidential, and available even if you just need to vent.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

 

Social media guide

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What is social media?

Social media refers to websites and apps that let users create and share content or network with each other. Popular platforms include Instagram, X, Facebook, TikTok, and Snapchat.

Imagine this…

You’ve just played a great match. You know how it goes: post-game selfies, action shots, and group photos flood your social media. But sometimes, things can take a twist.

Within minutes, likes and comments start pouring in. Most are positive, cheering you on, but a couple might be negative or critical. Maybe someone posted a meme of your teammate Sam, highlighting that one mistake from the game. Or maybe you find a group chat where Sam is the main “joke.”

Suddenly, those few negative comments overshadow all the positivity, just like one missed goal can sometimes overshadow a whole game in your mind.

That mix of excitement, validation, but also vulnerability? That’s the world of social media.

Social media platforms can be amazing tools to help you connect, share, and learn. They also come with challenges. Just as you’ve mastered dribbling, shooting, and passing on the field, you can master the art of balanced and healthy social media use.

What issues can social media usage lead to?

• Feeling stressed
• Developing low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety
• Having trouble focusing and being easily distracted
• Not wanting to engage in social activities
• Aggression
• Feeling hopeless and suicidal
• Being exposed to content that’s not right for your age
• Connecting with unsafe people
• Having your identity stolen
• Bullying or being bullied

How can I tell if my social media usage isn’t healthy?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Is my overall mood anxious or depressed?
• Do I feel worse after using social media?
• Do I use social media to cope instead of other skills?
• Am I avoiding in-person gatherings to be on social media?
• Do I hope my parent or coach won’t see what I’ve posted or shared?
• Am I using social media in bed, when I should be sleeping?

If you answered yes to more than a few of these, you may want to cut back or change how you use social media.

How can social media usage impact me on the field?

• You may feel pressure to deliver top-tier performances to gain positive attention.
• Mental fatigue from constant social media use can affect your focus during games and practice.
• Constant scrolling can distract from training and development.
• The highs of praise and lows of criticism can result in emotional swings.

How can social media impact me off the field?

• Scrolling through others’ highlight reels can sometimes make us feel our lives (or soccer skills) don’t measure up.
• While immediate praise can boost confidence, instant criticism can be a blow.
• Spending a lot of time on these platforms can distract from school and in-person friendships.

Remember, mean memes, comments, and edits are forms of bullying. Read the Bullying section to learn how to spot and prevent bullying.

How can I use social media in a healthy way?

• Keep posts positive — about achievements and your love for the game.
• If a teammate has a rough game, show your support by not posting about it — or by sharing supportive comments if they do.
• Remember your worth. Your value isn’t determined by likes, shares, or comments.
• Think before you post. Imagine every post is a pass in the game. Look up, think about where you’re sending it, and be sure it won’t get intercepted by trolls and haters.
• Keep some things private. Remember, you control your story.
• Avoid DM drama. Got beef with someone? Talk it out face-to-face or give them a call. Texts and DMs can be misunderstood — and screenshotted and shared.
• Never post your home address, where you’ll be hanging out after the game, or other things that reveal your location.
• Take social media breaks to hang with friends and enjoy the real world.

How can I help my parents understand my social media usage?

• Talk with your parent and explain how and why you use social media.
• Possibly show them how you are using social media. Consider sharing your posts or a video.
• Go over internet safety rules with your parent.
• Work with them to create rules for your social media use.

How can I manage or decrease my social media usage?

• Create “no screen” times.
• Download apps that limit the use of social media.
• Turn off notifications.
• Never text or use social media while you drive.
• Use one device at a time. Try not to multitask.
• Try to stop using your phone a half-hour before bed.
• Place your phone on the charger away from your bed while you sleep.
• Write in a journal about how you feel as you decrease your usage of social media.
• Seek help if you’re experiencing strong feelings of irritability, anxiety, depression, loneliness, or other negative feelings once you stop using social media.
• Get help right away if you’re having any thoughts of hurting or killing yourself. Call or text 988.

What can I do about social media bullying?

• Don’t fight back. It may be tempting, but don’t let them change who you are.
• Let your coach, parents, or a trusted adult know. They can find help on the Parents and Coaches pages of this website.
• Block and report abusive behavior with tools on the social media platform.
• Download Bullying: A guide for players to get tips.

What if someone is in crisis?

If someone you know (including you) may hurt themselves or someone else, don’t wait. Get help right away — even if you’re not sure it’s needed. These resources are free, confidential, and available even if you just need to vent.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.