Welcome, Athletes

Bullying guide

Download Guide

What is bullying?

Bullying is a repeated action that’s meant to harm another person or group. It can be physical, mental, or emotional.

Imagine this...

You know the vibes of a regular soccer training day: Everyone’s pumped, laced up, and ready for some action. But Dylan, who’s usually the first one doing drills and taking shots, is hanging back. Every time Dylan tries joining a group, there’s weird laughter or the chat goes silent.

Whenever Dylan makes a small mistake, a few players roll their eyes or make those “joking-not-really-joking” comments. The whole “We got your back” team vibe? It feels off around Dylan.

Those weird silences and not-so-funny jokes?

That’s bullying.

Bullying doesn’t belong on or off the field. Use these tips to defend yourself and help others who might be experiencing the same. Together, we can make soccer — and life — a better game for everyone!

How do I know if it’s bullying?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Does the victim have less power? A bully uses their strength, size, age, skill, or other factors to harm those with less power.
• Was it on purpose? The bully wants to hurt the victim — it’s not an accident.
• Did it (or could it) happen more than once? Bullying generally isn’t a one-time thing.

What does bullying look like on the field?

• Ganging up on a teammate
• Harassing a teammate because of a mistake
• Hazing or forcing players to prove they “belong”
• Threatening teammates about doing well on the field
• Targeting teammates who don’t do as well

What does bullying look like off the field?

• Making mean jokes or comments
• Mocking or humiliating someone
• Shoving, hitting, or kicking
• Making sexual comments or spreading rumors
• Talking about a friend or teammate behind their back
• Leaving someone out of conversations, events, chats, etc.
• Using social media or tech to bully someone

Why do teens bully?

• Jealousy
• Desire to have control over others
• Low self-esteem (not feeling good about themselves)
• Trouble coping with emotions, including anger
• Impulsivity
• Trying to get attention or be liked by others

What can I do about bullying?

• Don’t fight back or try to hurt the bully. It may be tempting, but don’t let them change who you are.
• Let your coach, parents, or a trusted adult know. They can find help on the Parents and Coaches pages of this website.
• Block and report online bullies.
• Share your HeadFirst bag tag. Let other players scan your QR code to find help.
• Download Bullying: A guide for players to read and refer to.

What if I might be a bully?

• Talk to an adult or role model to get coping skills and tips.
• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Empathize with others’ feelings and failings, and ask yourself how you’d want to be treated.
• Know you can change — even if it takes practice.
• Build coping skills and mental fitness with the HeadFirst program.
• Ask your parents to help you get help from a therapist or counselor.

Where can I go for mental health care?

Talking to a therapist or counselor gives you a safe, judgment-free space to open up and get help building coping skills, setting boundaries, boosting self-esteem and much more. Here are some ways your parents may be able to get you support.

• Talk to a school counselor or psychologist. (You can do this, too.)
• Call their health plan to find in-network or virtual providers and programs.
• Ask your pediatrician for a referral.
• Check with their employee assistance program (EAP) for free short-term counseling. 
• Look into local clinics, universities, community health centers and nonprofits for low-cost care.

What if someone is in crisis?

If someone you know (including you) may hurt themselves or someone else, don’t wait. Get help right away — even if you’re not sure it’s needed. These resources are free, confidential, and available even if you just need to vent.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project  — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.