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Bullying guide

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What is bullying?

Bullying is a repeated action that’s meant to harm another person or group. It can be physical, mental, or emotional.

Imagine this...

You notice your child seems more and more reluctant to attend practices. At post-match snacks, they sit apart from the group. Maybe other players roll their eyes if your teen makes a mistake. These don’t seem like random incidents.

That lack of excitement and connection?

This might be the result of bullying.

The good news is, just like there are strategies for preparing for a big match, there are ways to help your young athlete deal with bullying.

How do I know if it’s bullying?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Does the victim have less power? A bully uses their strength, size, age, skill, or other factors to harm those with less power.
• Was it on purpose? The bully wants to hurt the victim — it’s not an accident.
• Did it (or could it) happen more than once? Bullying generally isn’t a one-time thing.

What signs may mean my child is facing a bully?

• Loss of interest in playing the sport
• Unexplained aches, pains, or bruises
• Lost or broken personal items
• Loss of interest in being social with their teammates
• Frequent sadness, irritability, or anxiety

What does bullying look like on the field?

• Ganging up on a teammate
• Harassing a teammate because of a mistake
• Hazing or forcing players to prove they “belong”
• Threatening teammates about doing well on the field
• Targeting teammates who don’t do as well

What does bullying look like off the field?

• Making mean jokes or comments
• Mocking or humiliating someone
• Shoving, hitting, or kicking
• Making sexual comments or spreading rumors
• Talking about a friend or teammate behind their back
• Leaving someone out of conversations, events, chats, etc.
• Using social media or tech to bully someone

Why do teens bully?

• Jealousy
• Desire to have control over others
• Low self-esteem (not feeling good about themselves)
• Trouble coping with emotions, including anger
• Impulsivity
• Trying to get attention or be liked by others

How can I help my teen talk about bullying?

Ask your teen these questions:

• Do you like being on the team, and why?
• Who are your best friends on the team, and why are they your best friends?
• Have you ever seen bullying happen on your team?
• Have you ever been bullied?

How can I help my teen deal with bullying?

• Encourage them to build bonds with supportive friends.
• Discuss what bullying looks like and let them know they should tell you about it.
• If they come to you about bullying, show empathy and take it seriously.
• Teach them neutral responses such as, “That’s not OK.”
• Encourage them to walk away rather than fight back.
• Talk about how to be an “upstander” and not give bullying an audience.
• Share the players’ guide: Bullying: A guide for players.
• Talk with your teen about online behavior, and monitor digital use.
• Help them block and report online bullying.
• Problem-solve with them on how to stop the bullying, but step in if needed.
• If bullying happens at practice, discuss it with the coach.
• If bullying doesn’t stop, consider involving school officials or counselors.
• If bullying continues and starts to affect your teen’s well-being significantly, it may be time to consult with a mental health professional or another trusted authority.

What if my child may be bullying others?

• Address their behavior.
• Avoid shaming. Be objective about past behavior to improve future behavior.
• Don’t excuse their bullying behavior, but ask questions about the “why.”
• Discuss how bullying affects the victims. Encourage empathy.
• Help your child develop new coping skills.
• Encourage them to hang out with a different group of friends, if needed.
• Seek help from others such as a coach, teacher, or other trusted adult.

What if my child is in crisis?

If you think someone may hurt themselves or someone else, get help right away. These resources are free and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

Social Media guide

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What is social media?

Social media refers to websites and apps that let users create and share content or network with each other. Popular platforms include Instagram, X, Facebook, TikTok, and Snapchat.

Imagine this…

After a brilliant match, you spot your child scrolling endlessly on their phone. Their expressions range from joy to dismay within a few minutes. Later, you overhear other players commenting on their viral TikTok or an Instagram post that showcased a teammate’s mistake.

That mix of excitement, sadness, and cyberbullying?

That’s the world of social media.

By setting boundaries and encouraging open conversations, you can help your child avoid the pitfalls of social media while enjoying its benefits.

What issues can social media usage lead to?

• Feeling stressed
• Developing low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety
• Having trouble focusing and being easily distracted
• Not wanting to engage in social activities
• Aggression
• Feeling hopeless and suicidal
• Being exposed to content that’s not right for their age
• Connecting with unsafe people
• Identity theft
• Bullying or being bullied

How can social media usage affect my child on the field?

• They may feel pressure to deliver top-tier performances to gain positive attention.
• Mental fatigue from constant social media use can affect your child’s focus on the field.
• Constant scrolling can distract from training and development.
• The highs of praise and lows of criticism can result in emotional swings.

How can social media impact my child off the field?

• Social media may make them feel their life (or soccer skills) don’t measure up.
• While immediate praise can boost confidence, instant criticism can be a blow.
• Spending a lot of time on social media can distract from school and in-person friendships.

Remember, mean memes, comments, and edits are forms of bullying. Read the Bullying section to learn how to spot and prevent bullying.

How can I tell if my child’s social media usage isn’t healthy?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Is their overall mood anxious or depressed?
• Do they seem to feel worse after using social media?
• Do they seem to use social media to avoid other issues?
• Are they avoiding in-person gatherings to be on social media?
• Do they avoid showing you what they’ve posted or shared?
• Are they using social media in bed, when they should be sleeping?
• Do they seem unable to stop using social media?

If you answered yes to more than a few of these, you may want to talk with your child about how to cut back on or change how they use social media.

How can I help my child use social media in a healthy way?

• Discuss their online experiences and emotions without judging them.
• Talk with them about your concerns.
• Research and discuss internet safety.
• Limit screen time, especially after intense matches.
• Download apps that limit the use of social media.
• Learn warning signs of social media addiction.
• Remind them of their worth beyond likes, comments, and followers.
• Talk about kindness, privacy, and the fact that internet posts last forever.
• Monitor their use while respecting their privacy.
• Consider “friending” or following your child on social media accounts.
• Let them know what types of behavior they should tell you about right away.
• Be a good role model in what you post and how much you’re online.

If you notice that social media is seriously affecting your child’s emotional well-being, self-esteem, or real-world relationships, consider seeking advice from a mental health professional.

When should I be concerned about my child’s social media usage?

Consider seeking help or cutting back on their usage if:

• They’re constantly checking their phone for social media validation
• Their mood changes dramatically after using social media
• They’d rather scroll through feeds than kick a ball around with friends
• They’re oversharing, posting private or sensitive details about them or their team

If you are concerned, reach out to a mental health professional for help.

What if my child is in crisis?

If you think someone may hurt themselves or someone else, get help right away. These resources are free and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

Grief guide

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What is grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss and can have a big impact on emotional well-being.

Imagine this…

Your family has lost a loved one or maybe a beloved pet. It hits you hard, too, but you’re more focused on the change in your child.

At soccer, maybe they’re moving slower, almost like they’re playing in a fog. You often hear them sigh. They have a distant gaze and a heavy heart. Perhaps their eyes well up with tears when they miss a kick or even just stop for a water break.

That sluggish movement, the foggy disconnect, the occasional tears? Those are some effects common with grief.

With compassion and understanding, we can help our kids navigate grief and find their way back to joy — both on and off the field.

What are symptoms of grief?

• Exhaustion
• Feeling tired or sick
• Headaches and other pain
• Dry mouth
• Lack of sleep
• Changes in appetite
• Overthinking
• Brain fog
• Disbelief
• Feeling disconnected
• Feeling anger, anxiety, guilt, or relief
• Poor memory
• Disorganized thoughts
• Withdrawing from people
• Crying
• Avoiding reminders of the deceased
• Becoming dependent on others

How can grief affect players on or off the field?

• Changes in performance
• Being less focused on the field
• Being more easily frustrated
• Unexpected bouts of sadness or anger
• Being more quiet than usual
• Not interacting with teammates

How can I help a teen who is grieving?

• Let them know you’re there for support. But know they may turn to friends more.
• Allow them to share feelings, memories, and fears without judgment.
• Encourage them to make a T-shirt, plant a tree, or write about the deceased.
• Continue with their routine as much as possible. Your child just wants to feel “normal.”
• Talk about the deceased and what led to their death. The more questions you can answer, the less your child’s mind draws conclusions.
• Walk through the events at a funeral or memorial if your child is attending. Knowing what to expect can ease anxiety.
• Know they may be concerned about you. But let yourself grieve. Remember, you are their role model.
• Share the situation with your child’s coaches so they can offer added support.
• Make sure they have time with family to find comfort, reminisce, and heal.
• Share HeadFirst resources like Grief: A guide for players.
• Learn how teens process grief. Understand the stages and symptoms.
• Know that everyone grieves differently. Let them do it their way.
• Offer space when needed — and support when asked.
• Consider seeking grief support groups or counseling tailored to teens.

If your child’s grief persists in a way that affects their daily life and performance in school and sports, it may be helpful to consult with a mental health professional.

When should I be concerned about grief?

Consult a mental health professional about your child:

• If they’re experiencing suicidal thoughts. In that case, call right away.
• If they’re neglecting personal hygiene
• If they have changes in appetite, sleeping, or mood.

If you are concerned, reach out.

What if my child is in crisis?

If you think someone may hurt themselves or someone else, get help right away. These resources are free and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

Anxiety guide

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What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, unease, or nervousness — typically about an event with an uncertain outcome. It’s a reaction to something that feels like a threat.

Imagine this…

It’s the last few moments of a tied match. The ball rolls toward your athlete. The goal is open, and this is their moment to shine. As they get ready to take the shot, they hesitate. Maybe doubts are racing through their mind. Maybe their heartbeat quickens and their hands tremble. In the blink of an eye, the ball is taken away by an opponent.

That overthinking, the second-guessing, the physical symptoms? That’s anxiety.

By recognizing its signs and offering support, parents can help their kids navigate their anxieties, ensuring they play their best game both on and off the field.

Why do people have anxiety?

Anxiety is a natural emotion. Everyone has it from time to time. It’s like our body’s alarm system, alerting us to possible dangers or challenges. That’s why it makes us want to fight, flee, or sometimes just freeze.

In prehistoric times, this “fight or flight” response helped humans react quickly to threats like predators. Today, our “predators” might be things like taking a big test, speaking in front of a crowd, or taking a penalty shot in soccer.

How do I know if my child may have anxiety?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do they appear tense?
• Do they worry about things that can’t be changed?
• Do they worry too much about what other players, coaches, and parents think?
• Do they worry excessively about making mistakes?

What are symptoms of anxiety?

• Feeling restless or cranky
• Rapid heart rate
• Rapid breathing
• Sweating
• Dizziness
• Trembling hands
• Getting tired easily
• Getting angry or frustrated easily
• Trouble focusing
• Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
• Stomach issues
• Withdrawing from favorite people and activities

How can anxiety affect athletes on the field?

• Overthinking
• Focusing on past mistakes or future plays
• Second-guessing their abilities
• Hesitating
• Making more mistakes
• Overreacting or being overly emotional
• Being easily angered or frustrated
• Physical symptoms that affect game skills
• Trouble focusing on the game

How can anxiety affect athletes off the field?

• Trouble controlling worrying thoughts
• Avoiding new things
• Struggling in school, especially if they normally don’t
• Feeling lonely
• Withdrawing from favorite people and activities

How can I help my athlete with anxiety?

• Stay calm, patient, and supportive.
• Show empathy and compassion for their anxiety.
• Really listen to them, then restate or paraphrase what you heard them say.
• Encourage them to talk about their anxieties.
• Share how you manage your own anxiety.
• Model healthy ways to manage your anxiety.
• Help them maintain healthy eating and sleeping habits.
• Express optimism that they will figure out ways to manage anxiety.
• Teach them the physical symptoms of anxiety.
• Prompt them to use coping strategies when they have physical symptoms.
• Share HeadFirst resources like Anxiety: A guide for players.
• Use the resources in your community, like a school counselor, social worker, psychologist, or local mental health agency.
• Encourage their use of resources like a counselor, psychologist, or other helping professional.

When should I be concerned about anxiety?

Consult a mental health professional if your child:

• Constantly feels nervous, on edge, or can’t stop or control worrying
• Has anxious feelings that go on for weeks, months, or even longer
• Has anxious feelings that interfere with their schoolwork, socializing, and everyday life

What if my child is in crisis?

If you think someone may hurt themselves or someone else, get help right away. These resources are free and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.

Depression guide

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What is depression?

Depression is more than just feeling down or having an “off” day. It’s a mental health condition that can deeply affect how a person feels, thinks, or acts. It’s a feeling of sadness that won’t go away. And it can make a person lose interest in things they once loved, including soccer.

Imagine this…

You’re watching practice for a few minutes before running errands. Everything seems routine: drills, tactical plays, short breaks. But your child seems different this week.

They weren’t excited on the way there, and now they’re just going through the motions. They’re the last to start every drill and the first to finish. They’re missing easy passes, and they’re not talking to teammates.

That ongoing withdrawal from the team, the drop in energy, the lack of enthusiasm? These could be signs of depression.

In the grand game of life, understanding and addressing depression is crucial. As the primary cheerleader in your child’s life, you can equip them with the support they need, both on and off the soccer field.

How do I know if my child may have depression?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Have they lost interest in soccer?
• Are they withdrawing from friends and family?
• Are they focused on past failures?
• Do they show unusual anger, frustration, or hopelessness?
• Are they sleeping a lot more or less than usual?
• Has their appetite changed?

What are symptoms of depression?

• Sadness that won’t go away
• Hopelessness
• Irritability or annoyed mood
• Conflict with others
• Low self-esteem
• Focusing a lot on past failures
• Trouble concentrating
• Thoughts of death or dying
• Having a suicide plan or attempt
• Sleeping too much or not enough
• Poor self-care (hygiene)
• Angry outbursts
• Risky behavior
• Changes in appetite
• Increased use of alcohol or drugs

How can depression affect players on the field?

• Loss of interest in participating
• Becoming overly sensitive
• Being focused on failures
• Having conflict with others
• Showing extreme frustration or irritability
• Not socializing with teammates
• Changes in performance

How can depression affect players off the field?

• Loss of interest in favorite things
• Lasting feelings of sadness or hopelessness
• A drop in energy and/or motivation
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Changes in performance in school or at work

Why do teens have depression?

Depression is a mental health issue that causes an intense or constant feeling of sadness or loss of interest in activities. Common stressors for teens that can cause depression include:

• School stress
• Peer pressure
• Relationship problems
• Parents separating or divorcing
• Money problems
• Physical neglect (lack of food, shelter, safety, etc.)
• Emotional neglect (lack of caring, love, support, etc.)

How can I help my child with depression?

• Show empathy and compassion for their depression.
• Ask questions. Be calm but don’t give up. They may not want to talk at first.
• Really listen to them, then restate or paraphrase what you heard them say.
• Encourage them to talk about their struggles.
• If you have or had depression, share how you manage it.
• Plan joyful activities like cooking together, going for a family walk, or watching a movie.
• Help them maintain healthy eating and sleeping habits.
• Plan volunteer work you can do as a family.
• Help them reduce screen time.
• Share HeadFirst resources like Overcoming depression: A guide for players.
• Use the resources in your community, like a school counselor, social worker, psychologist, or local mental health agency.

If signs of depression persist or if your child mentions feelings of hopelessness or self-harm, consult a mental health professional right away.

When should I be concerned about depression?

Consult a mental health professional about your child if:

• Their symptoms are becoming severe or appearing every day for more than two weeks.
• It’s affecting their daily functioning.
• There are concerns about suicide or your teen’s safety. (In this case, get help right away.)

What if my child is in crisis?

If you think someone may hurt themselves or someone else, get help right away. These resources are free and confidential.

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988.
• The Trevor Project — LGBTQ Lifeline: Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678.